Tigerlilly Quinn: Feature - What I have learnt since becoming a mum

Monday, 7 November 2011

Feature - What I have learnt since becoming a mum

Since at some point in the next four to eight weeks I am going to become a mum I thought it would be fun to ask a few of my favourite blogging ladies what they have learnt so far in their experiences of motherhood. I'm so happy to start off this feature with my lovely friend Abigail. I first heard of Abi and her blog via her pictures on Instagram and then when I posted my first pregnancy pic in this post she suggested we meet up in 'real life'. I'm very glad we did as I now consider her one of my proper friends (as well as being an internet buddy) it's been great being able to chat to Abi through my pregnancy as we are of similar age and experiences and its been lovely watching Theo grow up too! 
So without further ado here is Abi's piece on what she has learnt since becoming a mum (and its a lovely one too)

What I've learnt since being a mum: my new best friend.
Since before I was pregnant or any notion of having a baby ever existed I have always been quite shy. I would feel as though I would always need someone to be around or to go out and about with, so I didn't feel alone. I would be shy about going out shopping by myself, and would never dare go to a coffee shop or cafe and sit by myself. I had tendencies to get lonely pretty quickly if I hadn't had a conversation or seen a friend all day I would feel a bit down, but have never been confident to go out by myself and just be around other people. 

When I moved to a new city, Bristol, I knew that I had to really push myself to go out and make friends, otherwise I would be bound to sit inside and wallow in my own self pity for an eternity! Thankfully being pregnant is a great way of meeting new people who are going through the same experience as you. I went to a few exercise and swim classes and met some lovely people, who I still keep in contact with now and see regularly. Also being online more, especially twitter has helped me immensely at being more confident and actually being able to talk to people, I have made lots of lovely friends on there, many who I see in 'real' life too. Having a baby is a great way of meeting new people, and I'm glad I've had the opportunity to break my shyness and have a bit more confidence when meeting and talking to new people. But this post isn't just about me meeting and making new mum friends, it's about acquiring a different type of new friend, one who is very close to me. 

Once again, before I was pregnant or any notion of having a baby soon ever existed, when I was feeling particularly lonely or a bit down, I would often think to myself that having a baby would be great. It would mean that you would always have someone with you, and you would have a special bond, have company and have a friendship. I know this is in a way a sort of selfish desire to have a child, and it is of course not the reason I choose to have a baby, and to be honest is something I had forgotten feeling until recently. 

Recently rob, my partner and Theo's daddy had a few weeks off work, which was great and so lovely to be spending proper time with him and as a family, and I was dreading him going back to work as I didn't know how I would cope being alone with the baby, but a few days in and I'm actually really enjoying it just being Theo and myself again. Theo is now just over 9 months and his personality is starting to shine through, and he is becoming his own little person. We have our own little way of communicating, I have my own way of making him laugh and he knows how to make me laugh at him. We share secret looks and smiles, and I feel we have a special way of getting along, unique to just us. We share meals at the table and play funny games, I seem to be able to understand better and better what he wants and how he is feeling. This weekend Rob was working, and I didn't have any plans to meet or see anyone. This used to fill me with dread, but I really enjoyed having no obligations and just went out and about pottering with my little friend. We ate falafel in a restaurant by ourselves, where Theo smiled, chatted and charmed the ladies in there (all the while I was smiling with pride!) We looked in charity shops and we sat in the park and watched the world go by. I didn't feel alone once. I didn't have any 'real' conversations, but just being with Theo and playing and talking to him felt like I was hanging out with a friend and enjoying the company of another human being. And I may be slightly biased when I say this, but Theo is very good company indeed. He was so good and lovely this weekend and I felt proud to be with him, and to be his mum! That sounds really silly...

On Sunday we went to a friend's little boys first birthday party. I only knew her and the little boy, which once upon a time would have scared me silly about going to a party by myself and not knowing anyone. But I didn't think like that this time because Theo was going to be with me, and if all else failed I would still have him to talk to. But in the end I had a really great time, and did speak to other adults! 

This all may seem a bit obvious, like of course you are going to enjoy spending time with your own baby, but it feels different to that. It feels as though I'm still getting to know Theo, and we are still carving out our relationship and growing our friendship. Most of the time (when he's not a whingebag) I feel privilidged to be spending my time with such a bright, happy, inquisitive, funny little boy. I just can't wait for him to grow and become more of his own person, to express himself with words and to really show his interests. It scares me that he is growing up so fast, and sometimes I long for him to be a little tiny baby who didn't do much (or crawl away mid nappy change) to cuddle, but actually most of the time I'm really happy that he is learning, changing and growing. I can't wait for the future and I can't wait for more adventures with my little side-kick. 

 Thanks so much for sharing Abi, such a lovely post and Theo is such a cool little guy! xoxo


Mamacymraeg said...

lovely lovely lovely!!!

Ivana said...

What a lovely read and Abi is great! (and Theo is the cutest!)

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