I'm going to be completely honest and say today I officially become Pregzilla, my hormones have completely overthrown me and I feel like there is nothing I can do about it. Up until this point I am pretty sure I have been a fairly rational and patient person but today in my 37th week of pregnancy I am a grumpy and emotional mess.
I started the day by snapping at my boyfriend, and have let myself cry about three times before lunch. My horrible dreams are back and I cant stop worrying about the future. Am I going to be able to do this? to be a mum, to have my life completely change, to have this person depend on me. Am I going to be able to make the right choices and do the right things, to always make the time and always be there. Its the fear of the unknown, I don't know how I will be, how Tom will be, how our relationship will be and as awful as it sounds I feel like I'm grieving for the end of just us, me and Tom being enough for each other.
I hate myself for sounding so selfish,I feel like such a bad person,I shouldn't be thinking any of things. I love my baby and I know how lucky I am to be having this baby, I honestly honestly do, whilst I write this & my tummy is moving around with my squirmy baby I am willing him to know how much I do love him but I'm scared and overwhelmed. Its all come so soon and I don't know if I'm ready. Should I even be confessing to this, shouldn't I be on top of this? Did anyone else ever feel this way?