Sorry for the lack of posts, as you can imagine things have been a little crazy around here! On day eight and nine I came down with a fever, not what you need with a baby just over a week old who wont sleep and wants to feed ALL the time! The midwives came round on day nine to see if I had an infection and told me my breasts were enflamed and engorged which is why I have been finding breastfeeding so hard and had a temperature. The trouble is Wilf wants to feed pretty much all the time and a lot of it I think is a comfort thing (as he seriously cannot be that hungry) the MW's said as he was such a good weight (and putting on lots, he was 9,12 on Monday) I can leave him for a least two hours to give them a rest and not produce so much but its hard when he gets so upset.
I think the first week I was still running on adrenaline, the first few days I didn't even feel tired, when he slept I would just watch and watch him and long for him to wake up (ha!). But a week in and one full night of no sleep it really hit me, I was finding feeding so painful and the following night when fever hit me I just cried and cried. Wilf was feeding and the tears were just falling onto his face, I was sobbing uncontrollably and felt guilty on top of everything for feeling sad! I know all of this is normal and that it will get better but I just had no comprehension of how hard and how tired and how emotional it can make you.
That being said two weeks in, this has been the most difficult yet most amazing two weeks of my life. I cant imagine life without Wilfie now, every time I feel like its too hard he does something that makes me feel like the luckiest person in the world just to be near him.
Yesterday we bought a breastfeeding pillow (for £45!! they sure know how to pray on the desperate and sleep deprived) which has made feeding easier today, and Wilf let me sleep for about six hours last night (not in a row but still!). I am taking these things one day at a time and just trying to go with Wilf and enjoy these moments. xoxo
(Hat by Kimberlee)