Tigerlilly Quinn: Family

Friday, 6 July 2012

Family





My mum and sister visited last week (as I mentioned). I also mentioned missing my family and I guess that feeling is still lingering. I have no desire to move back to West Wales (as pretty as it is) I love Bristol but I wish they all lived here too!
As I'm sure you are sick of hearing Wilf doesn't sleep for any long lengths of time, since four months old he has never slept longer than two hours in a row. I got used to it pretty quickly and co-sleeping saved me from going completely loopy. But the past two of three nights he has woken up and actually cried, needed taking out the bed and rocked to sleep..I have been putting Wilf to bed and spending a few hours with Tom in the evening meaning I go to sleep about 10.30 now instead of 7.30 with Wilf..and I guess both those things combined are leaving me pretty exhausted. I need my own time or time with Tom, I need to have a bath, work on a commission or chill out with Tom on the sofa so going to bed with Wilf that early again would seem like a step backward.
Yesterday Wilf grizzled ALL day, he was upset but desperately trying not to be, I think his gums hurt and he was trying SO hard to crawl and it was frustrating him. It ended up not being able to brush my hair or apply any makeup. I was still in my apartment pants at midday and so decided it was too late by then to even attempt getting dressed properly. 
Last night Wilf fell out of our bed..I *think* the monitor light was on and I have previously caught him dragging himself towards it from our bed to the bedside table. I woke to the sound of a BUMP!...silence..then screams and screams..Wilf cried I cried and begged him to forgive me, I checked him all over for cuts or bumps..when I finally got him back to sleep (in his co-sleeper) I watched him and woke every half an hour to check he was breathing..then he woke every two hours crying, we walked up and down, we were awake from 5.30..I had a headache (still do), I wouldn't be surprised if Wilf did too.
This morning he cried when I dressed him, cried if I tried to feed him, read him books..I changed him and he was happier but I got covered in poo (sorry folks this is real life with a baby, poo is involved..a lot of poo)..I got myself changed but felt like crying...
I cant help thinking about how much easier it would be if my family were near, if I could have an hour to wash/tidy the house/get things done..Wilf will mainly only sleep in the day if I constantly rock him (like now) which is great for blogging but not so much for anything else (including even trying to go to the loo!). 
I had a lot of kind words from my friends on Twitter this morning for which I am grateful. I also realised yes all of the above happened and its tough sometimes and my patience is stretched a little tighter in the past few days.. but I DO have family to help. I have Tom who is my family, yes he is out at work during the week for most of the day but I have that person to rant to, to hug, to make me that cup of tea in the morning. To clock watch until he arrives home 'hurrah!Daddy's home!' hand Wilf to and run to pour myself a glass of wine. To look forward to the weekend with when our work is shared. Its hard but its not as hard as it could be and I'm grateful for that. I have a few friends who are single mothers, they are without a doubt..amazing. I cannot articulate how much respect I have for them.
A couple of posts that really hit this home to me from a couple of incredible blogger mums are this one entitled 'An Accesssory' by Jo and this one by Drea. 


The pictures of Wilf with my sister Serin are so lovely. It makes me proud how much she loves him.

12 comments:

charlie said...

I know the feeling, I have moved up to aber and have no family around me (my mums in Devon) and am working so hard, either at work or sewing that I have had no time to make friends. It is really hard and can be rather depressing, but its about making the best of what you have, I.e, partners or family when they do visit x and yes wine in the evening x

abigailemily said...

Gah I know exactly how you feel! I too have robs parents here in Bristol and they do help out now and then with theo now, but I rarely had help in the first year, partly because I think I was a bit too proud to ask and wanted to prove I could do it myself! I wish my family lived closer, and as nice as it is when they visit, it sort of makes it worse when they leave, as you see how nice it would be if they were close.

But I think theo went through the same sort of thing, the only way he would nap is if I stayed lying down with him, and by the end of the day/week/month it was just an achievement to get dressed!

I hope it gets better! But if you ever need anyone to watch Wilf, I'd be more than happy to help out and watch him for an hour or two. Might be good practice for looking after two babies if I ever have another one!

Nectarine Dreams said...

Just wanted to offer you big hugs! Have had a good few days like this myself x

Lil said...

yay at your sis AUNTIES ROCK!!
the first couple of years is
the most physically tiring time of parenting I had to laugh reading about this new thing that will enable older women to have babies I can really comment on the rights and wrongs of it but lord above there is no way I could have a young baby with me full time at 44.
sixteen years ago when i had a newborn and a fifteen month old I was like a zombie some days Rachel was very similar to Wilf in terms of sleep patterns and of course i used to get all the 'oh youve made a rod for your own back by not putting her down alone early on yadda yadda yadda " humph.

Chloe said...

Mine was the same with sleep. Wouldn't sleep without movement. Lots and lots of rocking and walks, and I couldnt stop until the nap was over. It was a big toll on me, hardest thing i've experienced about this whole parenting business. Just do what you can to survive it without placing more stress on yourself or guilt that you've not achieved much that day.

Kelly said...

your post takes me right back nearly seven years ago with my boy, you sound like you're doing all the right stuff & he'll be a happy confident boy when he's a little older because you gave him what he needs now, i remember how tough it is though, it's hard to believe but you'll probably look back in 7 years time {through rose tinted specs like me!} & miss all this - crazy but it's true

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@charlie ha! how old are your two now?that must be so hard, are your sisters around at all? I didnt know you were sewing now! x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@abi thank you! (we have spoken about this in real life now lol) x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@nectarine dreams thank you, feeling much more positive now! x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@lil haha yes they do! and yes I've heard that 'rod for your own back' one to many times..my dad (early 50's) said the same thing, there is no way he would have the energy now adays! but then..thats after 5 kids so we have probably all worn him to the ground by 40! x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@chloe thank you! its hard as all I can really do it sit on my lap top which is fine but I'm just staring at all the mess and thinking of the million things I need to do! x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@kelly thank you Kelly that just what I wanted to hear :) x

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...