Tigerlilly Quinn: The one where I announce I'm not going back to work

Saturday, 6 October 2012

The one where I announce I'm not going back to work

Surprise right? yer thought not.
I'm sure to most of you it will probably be more of a surprise that my maternity leave is even up or that I had a job before I became a mum.
I never spoke about my office job on here because I didn't want anything I said to jeopardise my job or for people to know where I worked and maybe a crazy person come and stalk me or something (it happens!). I'm not about to start talking about my (old) job now either but to say I was a personal assistant and marketing administrator for a managing director of a successful company. If that sounds fancy, I can assure you it really wasn't but I was grateful to my boss for taking a risk on hiring me when I most certainly wasn't the most qualified candidate. I learnt a lot from my time at the company, both about organisation/event planning/marketing and life in general.
For as long as I can remember I have always wanted to be a mother, my life goal was always to fall in love and have a family (the house and wedding were bonuses but not essential). Over one too many glasses of wine I would confess to my friends how badly I wanted this in my future. I vividly remember having a conversation at 18 with a group of friends who agreed 22 was probably a good time to have kids, if not then 25 definitely and certainly before 30. Its so funny for me to think back on that conversation as when we did reach 22 and I gushed again about 'ahh babies' my friends would say 'oh 22 is too young, 25 is too young, maybe when we are 30'. The only friend who would share my passion for a family was my flat mate in university Lisa who happened to have her first baby just three months after Wilf was born! The rest of my friends so far are still sticking to the 30 rule I think (and in many ways I think they had the right idea!!). For me I always always wanted to find the right man and have the baby and sooner the better. 
I know things don't always work out that way..I could have been a mum at 17, I should have been a mum at 25 but instead I was blessed with becoming a mum at 26, it was meant to be this way.
I'm sure this doesn't paint me in the best light, 'your goal was to become a girlfriend and mother? - dream big!' but it was and it is.
The other part of my little daydream was staying at home with my kid/s. We are in a position that returning to work and paying for childcare would not make sense financially and so staying at home with Wilf is the most sensible option. Which is fortunate for me considering this is the scenario I feel most comfortable with (for the moment, I may change my mind in the future!). This isn't to say that my days are filled with Wilf 100%, staying at home also means I able to focus more on my creative pursuits, illustrating/blogging/photography and for now it works. That's not to say that in the future I might not need some space, illustrating is virtually impossible when Wilf is awake (and as you know he doesn't really sleep!) but I'm making progress with bits and pieces here and there.
Although it was always the plan for me to stay home we left it until the last moment before I resigned just in case anything happened with Tom's job and he suddenly found himself a stay at home dad. I cant tell you the weight off my shoulders it feels to finally know this is it, I finally have a job I love and that I (most of the time) think I'm pretty good at. Sure the boss can be a little demanding when he hasn't had his naps and I'm sure its illegal to work 8am-6pm with no breaks but the bonuses are good ;)

16 comments:

Lil said...

why go back if you don't have to has always been my motto,its not as if hes going to be at home with you 24/7 for the next 18 years, things will change as time goes on, Unless you are lucky enough to have family willing to take on childcare the costs are insane. you have got other talents/interests anyway enjoy it :) I had similar ambitions to you wife/mother etc but thanks to my ex I ended up as single mum of a one and 2 year old who had to work (by then I found going to work restful and being on my own with them all the time was not good for my sanity lol) but I was lucky enough to stay at home between kids.

Josie said...

Good for you my love! You're doing the most wonderful job looking after Wilf all day and as you've got other interests to connect you to the outside world I can't see why you wouldn't want to do it forever! Thinking the same thing myself at the moment, even considering home schooling Amelie so I can stay with her longer ;)

abigailemily said...

Good choice. Not that there really was a decision to be made, but I bet it's a relief to know it's official!

And you're motivated and doing well with your other interests such as illustration and your blog, so hopefully you've found a good balance.

X

Mamacymraeg said...

I could have written this myself when I decided not to go back to work. I didn't love my job, and I loved being with my son. So a no-brainer! When I used to see people from school or uni and they'd ask what I was doing, I wasn't proud of the path my life had taken. It wasn't impressive in any way. Now I'm doing something I'm extremely proud of (even if they don't think so!)
As Abi said, good choice. You'll never regret it xx

April Grinaway said...

Cute picture...Found you from passionfruit!

hetherington said...

oh fritha congratulations! what a relief this must be to have made the decision and not have to worry about leaving wilf and going back to work. i also loved reading the other posts about your journey to motherhood, so refreshingly honest and lovely. i read (part of) a book recently, radical domesticity, about what a radical act it is to stay home and make a home and look after your family - to focus on what the core of being a family is and make do with less, rather than earn money in order to consume and ultimately be further and further away from hearth and home. might be an interesting read if you ever feel like you're not "dreaming big," because you really are - i think it takes a lot of bravery to stay home with your kiddos these days (in more ways than one!). :) i work full-time now that i'm a single mom, but we made a lot of sacrifices so i could stay home with shoshi until she was more than 18 months, and i still think that was one of the best decisions i ever made. no regret, only wish it could've lasted longer! have fun mama! (and...sorry i seem to've written a book here!)

AliceHarold said...

Yay, congratulations!! It's such a feeling of freedom, isn't it!?

fritha strickland said...

@lil I totally agree sometimes life cannot be planned as you like it. You are a hero for being a single mum and of two so little and so close together! xx

fritha strickland said...

@josie thanks lovely! The school thing has been going round and round my head lately. I had such a crappy time at both primary and secondary that I worry about Wilf. There is a great little primary right by us but I think if I had the experience and confidence homeschool would be a real pull for me too. However I know that for me it wouldn't work great. (my elder brother was home schooled and excelled so I am a great believer in it) I guess its another hurdle to some across in a few years! xx

fritha strickland said...

@abi yep, sure it wasnt a surprise to you, ha! But a relief still x

fritha strickland said...

@mamacymraeg Thank you! And yes like you said something I can finally be totally proud of! xx

fritha strickland said...

@April Grinaway Hi! x

fritha strickland said...

@sarah! Thanks so much for your reply! You are doing such a fantastic job with shoshi and credit to you for making it work when it must have been hard being a solo parent. I totally agree, we have less in one way but so much more in another (how cheesy does THAT sound!?!) xx

fritha strickland said...

@Alice thank you and yes! I few glasses of wine were drank, hurrah!

Rachel said...

I have been wanting to talk about this for ages, but haven't - I sent my resignation letter on Friday. I can't help but have rather mixed feelings. When I've heard back from my company, perhaps I'll write more about my decision.

But good for you. I'm so glad things are working out well for you.

Mum2BabyInsomniac said...

I was 26 when I become a mum too, although had Dad2BabyInsomniac been more willing then I would have done it much earlier. It was always what I wanted to do as well and it has definitely lived up to my expectations. I love being a stay at home mum and feel so grateful that it is possible for me to be one x

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...