I'm not sure if you are all totally bored of these monthly updates yet. I said to myself I would make it to a year and here we are! From now on I think I will do updates as an when but not schedule myself to month by month. At first when Wilf was a podgy little newborn and changing so much daily all I could do was stare at him and exclaim 'look he's doing this now!' and whilst of course he is still learning everyday the changes are maybe more subtle. In the first six months the change from a tiny little immobile thing to a laughing crawling little personality is quite remarkable!
Wilf over the last month you have learnt some moves! You love music and will bounce those legs and sway side to side, you even do a funny little bum wiggle. It is quite simply my favourite thing to watch. At the moment your favourites seem to be Blur and Girls Aloud (a rather embarrassing insight to the music being played in our home..)
You are affectionate, you give long cuddles and wide mouth kisses, you even kissed another little boy in your kindergarten the other day, much to his surprise. Lately you have taken to waking at 5am, finding me in the darkness and planting a sloppy kiss on my unsuspecting face, good morning!
You are sharing, you offer what ever toy/book/piece of food you have discovered to anyone near. Unfortunately for you nine times out of ten you will never get this item back from whatever baby you gave it to but this in itself is a good life lesson. Unless you share with your cousin Evan who will share right back, the other day we had ourselves a bit of a politeness competition that seemed as if it would never end. I cant take any credit for this beautiful aspect of your personality, I certainly did not teach you this skill but its lovely to see!
You are calm, almost everyone comments on it. Mostly people remark on how chilled and observant you are, sometimes people try and make you smile and be 'silly'. I often make excuses that you are tired, which I am cross with myself about, you don't need to smile or perform on command to anybody. I love this part of your nature.
(On that note does anyone have any advise for what you do when people try and impose on your child to smile or act a certain way??)
I guess its hard to explain why but (for me) having a one year old is much easier than having a new born or even a six month old. In my experience the first 6 months are the hardest, perhaps its not being able to communicate with a young baby as easily/in the same way as you can with a (soon to be) toddler. I now know that personally I am not great with tiny babies but I have certainly found my feet as Wilf has gotten older and now I feel like a bit of a seasoned pro (most of the time). Things are more fun, I laugh more than I ever have done and I haven't cried in a really long time (when it used to be a daily occurrence). I know its only going to get more and more fun, as he walks, talks and we can do things together, painting, playing in dens, baking and all the other things that I dreamt up when I daydreamed about being a mum. I realised the other day that I never really daydreamed about the baby baby part it was always the toddler and then the child. I know for some people its newborns that make them broody and googly eyed but I guess I for me not so much.
Throughout Wilf's birthday and party the following day I thought tears would be shed. A year, a whole year of mothering! But no, I just felt happy and settled. Funny thing was the day later at a baby free event (I snuck away to the South West Bloggers Xmas party and our team won second prize at the quiz!) I suddenly did feel quite emotional about it all. Somehow I found myself introducing myself and explaining I had a one year old son and had spent the last year in a bit of a haze (I only answered one question on said quiz and hadn't even heard of some of the people/events being mentioned!). I had fun and met some lovely people but I couldn't wait to get home to my family and even shed a little tear walking from the bus, I had to step out of my situation for it to really hit home to me what a milestone this year is!
Reflecting on this year it always hits home to me how much the close support of my NCT friends (I should just start calling them friends now shouldn't I?) has been. It's one of the things I am most thankful for, and over glasses of cava we gush about our love for these group of babies. Having seen each other every week over this past year and seeing our children grow up together and connect with each other is so special.
Of course it is Tom who has been my biggest support, I couldn't be more grateful for his help and patience, to be someone to shout and moan at (sorry!). It's not always perfect of course but despite the tough parts I know there is someone who will always love Wilf as I do, with all his heart. It's amazing to watch the person you fell in love with become a father.
So this is a full year. A whole year of breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, tears, arguments, love, laughter, wonder, patience, understanding and constant learning. It's been the most emotional year of my life and (massive cliche coming up) the best year of my life.
Here's to the next year! xoxo