Wilf at 12 months and a year of parenting

I'm not sure if you are all totally bored of these monthly updates yet. I said to myself I would make it to a year and here we are! From now on I think I will do updates as an when but not schedule myself to month by month. At first when Wilf was a podgy little newborn and changing so much daily all I could do was stare at him and exclaim 'look he's doing this now!' and whilst of course he is still learning everyday the changes are maybe more subtle. In the first six months the change from a tiny little immobile thing to a laughing crawling little personality is quite remarkable!

Wilf over the last month you have learnt some moves! You love music and will bounce those legs and sway side to side, you even do a funny little bum wiggle. It is quite simply my favourite thing to watch. At the moment your favourites seem to be Blur and Girls Aloud (a rather embarrassing insight to the music being played in our home..)

You are affectionate, you give long cuddles and wide mouth kisses, you even kissed another little boy in your kindergarten the other day, much to his surprise. Lately you have taken to waking at 5am, finding me in the darkness and planting a sloppy kiss on my unsuspecting face, good morning!

You are sharing, you offer what ever toy/book/piece of food you have discovered to anyone near. Unfortunately for you nine times out of ten you will never get this item back from whatever baby you gave it to but this in itself is a good life lesson. Unless you share with your cousin Evan who will share right back, the other day we had ourselves a bit of a politeness competition that seemed as if it would never end. I cant take any credit for this beautiful aspect of your personality, I certainly did not teach you this skill but its lovely to see!
You are calm, almost everyone comments on it. Mostly people remark on how chilled and observant you are, sometimes people try and make you smile and be 'silly'. I often make excuses that you are tired, which I am cross with myself about, you don't need to smile or perform on command to anybody. I love this part of your nature.
(On that note does anyone have any advise for what you do when people try and impose on your child to smile or act a certain way??)

I guess its hard to explain why but (for me) having a one year old is much easier than having a new born or even a six month old. In my experience the first 6 months are the hardest, perhaps its not being able to communicate with a young baby as easily/in the same way as you can with a (soon to be) toddler. I now know that personally I am not great with tiny babies but I have certainly found my feet as Wilf has gotten older and now I feel like a bit of a seasoned pro (most of the time). Things are more fun, I laugh more than I ever have done and I haven't cried in a really long time (when it used to be a daily occurrence). I know its only going to get more and more fun, as he walks, talks and we can do things together, painting, playing in dens, baking and all the other things that I dreamt up when I daydreamed about being a mum. I realised the other day that I never really daydreamed about the baby baby part it was always the toddler and then the child. I know for some people its newborns that make them broody and googly eyed but I guess I for me not so much.

Throughout Wilf's birthday and party the following day I thought tears would be shed. A year, a whole year of mothering! But no, I just felt happy and settled. Funny thing was the day later at a baby free event (I snuck away to the South West Bloggers Xmas party and our team won second prize at the quiz!) I suddenly did feel quite emotional about it all. Somehow I found myself introducing myself and explaining I had a one year old son and had spent the last year in a bit of a haze (I only answered one question on said quiz and hadn't even heard of some of the people/events being mentioned!). I had fun and met some lovely people but I couldn't wait to get home to my family and even shed a little tear walking from the bus, I had to step out of my situation for it to really hit home to me what a milestone this year is!

Reflecting on this year it always hits home to me how much the close support of my NCT friends (I should just start calling them friends now shouldn't I?) has been. It's one of the things I am most thankful for, and over glasses of cava we gush about our love for these group of babies. Having seen each other every week over this past year and seeing our children grow up together and connect with each other is so special. 

Of course it is Tom who has been my biggest support, I couldn't be more grateful for his help and patience, to be someone to shout and moan at (sorry!). It's not always perfect of course but despite the tough parts I know there is someone who will always love Wilf as I do, with all his heart. It's amazing to watch the person you fell in love with become a father. 
So this is a full year. A whole year of breastfeeding, sleep deprivation, tears, arguments, love, laughter, wonder, patience, understanding and constant learning. It's been the most emotional year of my life and (massive cliche coming up) the best year of my life. 
Here's to the next year! xoxo


Carolyn Carter said...

A lovely post! I wish words flowed as easily for me, I just about manage a paragraph on my blog. You're obviously a natural!

I used to have the same problem regarding making my little girl perform to strangers whenever they would ask, I always felt so bad afterwards and got so cross with myself for pushing her to do it when she didn't want to. I think I'm better and hopefully don't do it as often, or at least stop myself quicker! The real problem is feeling the need to please people or maybe it's something about showing off your child? ...anyway, i know that I care more about not making my kids do something they don't want to so I just need to try harder. It's also got to do with my confidence as a parent and the ability to just say, "it's ok, i don't think she wants to do that".
Anyway, if you come up with a better way of getting them off the hook then let me know!


Helen - sittinginthekitchensink said...

" I know there is someone who will always love Wilf as I do, with all his heart."
I'm afraid I can't offer any advice on the people trying to make your child smile thing - I find I too do the "ohh, it's just because she's tired/just woken up" excuse thing if she won't smile at someone or starts to cry. But most of the time it's because they're strangers/too loud/not mummy/all of the above! So I'll be taking note of the advice others leave you about how to deal with it.

The Lat Long said...

Beautiful words, I certainly wouldn't complain about monthly updates I think they are lovely thoughts to read! I am not a *baby* person either. I can't think of anything more stressful than a newborn, though that being said, I find I appreciated their tiny amazingness a bit more the second time around, and were I ever to have another I think I would love it that bit more again. I tend to laugh off the people (usually elderly ladies) that want my children to perform and generally just say something like 'She's not so sure about you, is she!' because really, it's their fault, isn't it? Not the other way around. But sadly, those times are few and far between for us because my girls were born exhibitionists- they sound the complete opposite of your sweet Wilf! They have no fear of people which worries me no end. Just the other day Jemima tapped some poor RAAF (air force) officer on the arm in the grocery line and asked him what 'those love hearts on your sleeve' are. She then proceeded to ask him if he'd flown to the shops and could she please go in his plane? :/

sue said...

Beautiful words about a beautiful little boy :)
Hope you have a fun filled christmas x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@carolyn oh thank you for saying that! I certainly dont think of myself as a writer. Especially as I have dyslexia so that means a lot. your response seems like a good one, I need to get more confidence to act the same xx

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@helen glad to hear I'm not the only one! Jess and Carolyn come up with some good points on how to deal with this situation dont they. I'm sure if I had a stranger in my face trying to make me smile I would act the same way! x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@jess haha that made me laugh! I am so looking forward to when Wilf can talk and come up with some great lines like this! Its funny, I am one of five and my older brother Keir was very much like Wilf where as I think all of my siblings are so different. Some extrovert, some shy, some artistic, some academic..its really interesting to me how we can all be so different but raised in the same way, I guess its that nature/nurture debate, how much do we influence our children's personalities? Your girls sound amazing and thank you for the tip on how to deal with strangers getting Wilf to smile!! xxx

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

thank you sue! x

Unknown said...

This is a very good read and Wilf is so cute! :) Parenting is really difficult especially to little ones but it's really surprising how they can make you feel genuinely happy and how a smile just makes you say that every sacrifice is worth it. Try to enjoy every moment! Cheers!

Astar said...

Hi Fritha, I've just discovered your blog but reading back over the archive of the past year has been a great source of comfort and inspiration to me as me and my little one begin our journey together (he's 10 weeks today!). I've been trying to be good and not wishing time to go faster even tho it hasn't always been the joy that I thought it would be, it is exactly the cliche that they say, that it flies by! But reading this post really made me think that in a years time I will have the first year of so many amazing memories and experiences to look back on as well as the amazingness to come as he gets another year older. And I know it will be the good stuff that will be far greater and far out weigh the bad moments... Thank you for blogging! x

Cathy said...

Lovely post Fritha.

I used to get a lot of 'why is she crying?' when Cherry was younger and my sister-in-law, who is one of my parenting role models, came up with the best answer I have ever heard when she answered for me one day 'maybe that's just the way she is.'

I've used this line many times when people ask me why she is or isn't doing something.

ps - we got that card for Cherry's birthday too :) Here's to the next year xx

Unknown said...

Lovely post :)
And beautiful pictures!


Jess said...

wow cant believe a year has gone by !!! amazing.

nice people will instinctively try to make babies smile. its ok just to say hes not feeling like it just now and leave it there ;)

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@thanks Janet x

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@Astar thank you so much for this comment, that means so so much. Congrats on ten weeks, you are almost at the 'magic 12 weeks' where things will be a little easier. And it will get so much better! xx

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@cathy good idea! I think I will use that next time, its perfect as it shouldnt make anyone feel awkward. I think I would have been really upset if people kept asking me why Wilf was crying though, people dont think sometimes.. xx

Tigerlilly Quinn said...

@lil I know! Crazy! And yes you are right, I know they are only trying to be nice and really its my reaction that is upsetting me not them. I just feel bad I'm making excuses for him not being a certain way! xx

Penny'sMamma said...

what a lovely post. Been catching up on your posts since life has been so crazy here the past few weeks I haven't had a chance.

P.s, Penny is always grumpy when she see's my mum, or Joes siblings... I do warn them she doesn't like people smothering her with kisses the minute she's seen them. She's a bit like me.. she likes her personal space! lol

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