Tom and I don't really tend to buy each other anything for Valentines anymore. I think we both know we don't actually *need* anything and so things like cups of tea or a nice hot bath are much more appreciated.
This Valentines weekend we took ourselves out for breakfast for a break from the norm ;) (I'm totally joking this is what we always do on a Saturday) but we did try somewhere new at least. We went for veggie breakfasts and Wilf the scrambled egg on toast. I had a bit of a cold so couldn't really taste mine but Tom assures me it was good and Wilf gobbled up the whole lot before declaring the same.
I've been feeling a little run down and burnt out lately. It's a funny one as I'm always one to try to brush over negative feelings, I suffered quite a lot in my youth (my youth? sounds like I'm about 100!) with depression and so I try to be as positive as I can each day. I don't believe things like depression can be simply helped with a positive attitude, but I do think it helps me to start the day thinking about the good in my life and not try and dwell to much on what might be worrying me or getting me down.
I know that my life is so blessed and I am lucky to be leading it and so I do struggle with letting myself feel anything other than grateful. Actually though sometimes it's not always helpful to not let yourself feel sad. I guess there are always ups and downs in life and experiencing the lows is sometimes just as important as the highs. I spent friday having a good 'ol cry and really letting it all out sobs and all. It made me realise how much I have had bottled up actually.
Tom is a fixer. Tom wants to fix any problem there might be and I know that it frustrates him when there isn't really a solution. I think it's because for Tom the most important thing in his life is family, he wants to be able to always protect us and make sure we are OK.
I've been thinking a lot about family lately, about my own family (the one I grew up with) and about my family now, the one Tom and I have created together. One family I was born into and the other I chose. It's a comfort to me to know that in Tom I have someone that I know without a doubt will always put myself and Wilf above all others. Falling in love and becoming a mum was something I dreamed about since my first ever memories. It's something I've probably always craved because I wanted to have the sense of belonging always.
The other night I was putting Wilf to bed and he asked me to cuddle him as usual. Tom does the bedtime routine usually and so after a quick kiss and a cuddle I'm left with a bit of peace & quiet and the boys do their thing, teeth, books, cuddle, sleep. This evening Tom was out so I got into his bed and snuggled down with him, he wrapped his little arms around my neck and breathed into my ear sleepily 'I love you more than the world'.
I decided that night to sleep with him the whole night, squished into his little bed with tears rolling down my cheeks with the enormity of it and overwhelmed with my emotions. Every time he woke or rolled over he would kiss me and whisper that he loved me again and I thought how I wanted to remember moments like this forever. When I'm old and Wilf is grown up and I think back on just how lucky I am to have lived my life.
I didn't really start this post thinking it would go this way actually but it's nice to be able to just type with no real point. Just thoughts tumbling out my brain, feelings I'm trying to organise. I think I used to have a diary for this sort of thing but hey, why not share it all on the internet? ;)
This blog as always is just my way of remembering these days with my family. A way in which I'm trying to freeze time, to record memories of our life together.
I hope whatever you got up to this weekend it involved lots of tea and the chance for a hot bath too xx
p.s in case you were wondering about the clothes:
Me:
Coat / shoes / skirt / top
Wilf:
Coat / Jumper / Jeans / Trainers
Tom:
Jacket
(the balloon was a surprise from Anthropologie, thanks guys!)
140 comments:
Beautiful post. I can relate 100%. I struggle with feeling down sometimes too. I've learned to roll with it and that sometimes I just need a good cry. My husband was away for a week and I cherished the time I had alone with my little boy because I work full time and am not around much. Those bed time cuddles are so precious. Hope you feel better soon. Smile. xx
Ahh this made me well up! Those moments are so special, aren't they? I sat opposite G this morning, while she ate breakfast and chatted away to me, making up stories about her day and I couldn't believe how lucky I am to have this bright, lovely child in my life. PS Love your top - I nearly bought it from Asos a while ago but was worried it would be too cropped for me.
That gave me goose bumps! I totally understand how you are feeling though. For me too I end up feeling guilty as I think 'but so much of my life is non-crap!' but it is very easy to feel overwhelmed by stuff, even when a lot of the stuff is things you actually enjoy doing!
the Party Rain British Cloud
hello there i love the party rain british cloud purse sooo cute !!!
Love the Party Rain British Cloud
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/copy-of-trifle-mini-cross-body-bag-1
I love the trifle mini cross body bag in May chalky pink
Love the coconut candy mini tote in party rain british cloud :)
Treacle Toffee - Large Tote geranium rosy cheek
I love all the DESIGNS, but i think the SPOTTED DICK - HANDBAG is my favourite.
Plum posset flat purse
The Treacle toffee tote bag is fab
spotted dick
Gorgeous post I had a little cry myself when I read it. I full believe in the joy and necessity of a good cry!
Almond Hardbake - Sling Bag
Tulips Row
Treacle toffee allotment peacock blue bag
The Plum Possett purse for my teenage daughter
Something in allotment design, it's so retro
love this shape and style - ALMOND HARDBAKE - SLING BAG
Treacle Toffee Large Allotment Peacock Blue Bag
Plum posse flat purse x
i love spotted dick handbag in may chalky pink
I like the Trifle mini cross body bags
I love the Tulips Row Almond Hardbake Sling Bag
amber jelly clasp purse in zip toptote
Treacle Toffee Tote!
I like the Spotted Dick handbag in May Chalky Pink
The Treacle toffee tote bag
I like the coconut candy tote bag
I love the mini cross body bag in may chalky pink.
THE TREACLE TOFFEE BAG
What a beautiful post. And a beautiful boy! I could have written that post myself. I'm actually just weaning myself off antidepressants at the moment so have been thinking a lot about coping strategies. I reckon I'll just go with the 'Make it up as I go along' technique! Thank you for sharing. :-) x
I love the
Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag
Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag
I really like the Almond Hardbake - Sling bag : )
this tall washbag thanks
The spotted dock handbag
Tullips row wash bag
I love this one http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/spotted-dick-handbag
The treacle tote bag
love the Spotted Dick handbag, gorgeous colours http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/copy-of-spotted-dick-handbag
Treacle Toffee Tote - Geranium rosie cheek design
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/copy-of-pineapple-souffle-makeup-bag-3 Really like this. :) :D
Oh Fritha, such an emotional & well written post. I"m sorry to hear that you've not been feeling on top, but it sounds like you've got 2 amazing dudes around you to help with the tears when they come. When I read about Wilf, gosh, it made me sob. What a sweetheart & a testament to the great parents you & Tom are :). It's not much, but sending you a virtual hug xx
treacle toffee tote in geranium rosie cheek x
TRIFLE - MINI CROSS BODY BAG
i LOVE THE SPOTTED DICK - HANDBAG
geranium rosy cheek
Spotted dick handbag party rain british rain
tracle toffe etote
I adore the Trifle - Mini cross body bag
the tall washbag
Thanks for the chance to enter! I'd have anything in the Party Rain British British Cloud print, which is lucky as that's what's in the giveaway!
Such a beautifully written post Fritha- I love your outfit too, I have the same top with the heart sleeves. I am sorry you have been feeling a bit meh recently, I am always here to lend an ear if you need someone to rant too. xx
I do this often with my three, especially my eldest who is four. today when walking to the park, we were in deep conversation and she was asking me what the difference is between air and smoke, and how it effects your lungs, then she went on to say we're healthy aren't we, we only have air - no smoke, yuk". it was then that i realised how the past four years have flown. I want time to stand still so I can preserve these special moments, and i will continue to hold on tight to her, and my other little two. Lovely photos xxx
Treacle Toffee large tote
TREACLE TOFFEE - LARGE TOTE
allotment mud
The Pineapple Souffle Wash Bag
Treacle toffee Tote bag
The Pineapple Souffle Wash Bag
TREACLE TOFFEE - LARGE TOTE
mabel april green
I'm all teary, reading that "I love you more than the world". I've been feeling pretty burnt out as well and haven't always had the resources left over to be as patient with my children as I should. Then Talitha surprises me by loving me so simply and showing me how easy it is to do that when the distractions of anxiety and stress aren't in the way. Gosh, I want to go climb into her bed right now!
SPOTTED DICK HANDBAG - geranium rosy cheek
Spotted Dick handbag is definitely my fav :)
Treacle Toffee - Large Tote
Pineapple Souffle wash bag
I like them all, but the coconut candy mini tote bag is one of my favourite prints.
Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag
They are all beautiful, but if picking one then the spotted dick handbag in May chalky pink is a winner!
Coconut candy mini tote bag
Love the cream cherry tall wash bag x
I LOVE the Treacle Toffee large tote in Mabel April Green. I'm having a baby in April and this would be a great alternative for a changing bag for me :)
What a gorgeous post. I love the way it just tumbled out from the heart. Counting your blessings every day is such a great thing to do, it really works for me. Little boys are so precious aren't they. My boy is my world and I don't blame you for staying with him all night and 'soaking up' the love. xx
Oh my goodness. I'm sat here in the shop crying my eyes out! Thank a lot! Haha! ;) You really hit a nerve with this post! Beautiful. :)
My current favourite is the Treacle Toffee Tote in Geranium Rosy Cheek - just beautiful!
Spotted Dick Handbag
I love the Treacle Toffee large tote
what a beautuful bag
Hi, I just found your lovely blog, and was moved and enchanted when I read this post....so from the heart, and the way it read showed. I am a Mum to grown up big people now, but still remember those very special moments, and it's so beautiful, because they never go away! xx
coconut candy :)
Trifle - Mini Cross Body Bag
I like the Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag in Geranium Rosy Cheek.
Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag - Tulips Row <3
Definitely the Treacle Toffee tote :-) (Laura Jeffs)
coconut candy bag
Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag
May Chalky Pink
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/spotted-dick-criss-cross
This tote
this http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/amber-jelly-mabel-fuchsia
Gorgeous site x
Almond Hardbake - Sling Bag
May Chalky Pink
I would put the Spotted Dick handbag - Geranium Rosy Cheek on to my wishlist, it's lovely :)
Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag
OOOH what a beautiful post, the ballon that skirt and top amazing.
Your family is very special
What a lovely post, I love the vibrant colours your photographs in and that balloon is fab too and what a lovely family you have
I would add the Spotted Dick handbag - Geranium Rosy Cheek to my wish list. It is gorgeous.
I love the Treacle Toffee tote
I really wanted this back in the darker party print, but I waited too long and it sold out! I'd also like one of everything in the criss cross print. Such a lovely brand!
The geranium rosy cheek large tote is lovely!
I'd put the 'Trifle - mini cross body bag' on my wishlist!
Love the Treacle Toffee - Large Tote - Allotment Mud
Spotted Dick - Handbag - Criss Cross Liquorice for my wish list
I think the coconut Candy, mini tote bag, allotment peacock blue is gorgeous and would keep on my wishlist!
AMBER JELLY - CLASP PURSE in mabel april green is my favourite :)
Coconut Candy Bag!! <3 Fab prize! xx
The Spotted Dick handbag in Criss Cross Liquorice would be first on my wishlist.
Oh hunny what a lovely post. I love all your amazing creative photos and sorry to hear that you have not be well bless you. The balloon is amazing! Your little family is so adorable and I love seeing all your family days out and adventures together.
Aww! So lovely, what a loving little affectionate boy. We are so lucky as parents aren't we. My little boy is nearly two and hadn't really thought about him saying 'I love you' but got that all to look forward to. Think my heart will melt too :)
I would put this on my wish list - may cherry trifle bag
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/trifle-may-cherry
I would choose to Coconut Candy mini tote bag for my wishlist
The
ALMOND HARDBAKE - SLING BAG
criss cross liquorice would be on my wish list
I love the SPOTTED DICK - HANDBAG in geranium gooseberry jam
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/copy-of-copy-of-treacle-toffee-large-tote geranium cheek love it
Almond Hardbake - Sling Bag May Chalky Pink
i WOULD LOVE THE ALMOND HANDBRAKE SLING BAG IN THE MAY CHALKY PINK IT IS GORGEOUS
£45
The Spotted Dick handbag
I love the large tote in mabel april green :)
I love the Spotted Dick handbag in may chalky pink :)
I love the treacle toffee large tote
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/spotted-dick-handbag-1 so cute!!
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/copy-of-almond-hardbake-sling-bag
i love this tote http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/spotted-dick-handbag-1
I love the Treacle Toffee Tote Bag.
id love the Coconut Candy - Mini Tote Bag
Almond Hardbake - Sling Bag
I love this!! http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/copy-of-trifle-mini-cross-body-bag
the almond hardbrake sling bag with tulips on
I love the coconut candy mini tote bag. :)
Treacle Toffee
I loveAlmond Hardbake - Sling Bag
Tulips Row
COCONUT CANDY - MINI TOTE BAG
allotment mud
EJ Dunn
Spotted Dick Handbag in mabel april green
Coconut candy mini tote bag ... Is lush
I love the
ALMOND HARDBAKE - SLING BAG
http://www.bettyandwalter.com/products/almond-hardbake-criss-cross
Geranium rosy cheeky handbag
I love the Spotted Dick Handbag in Mabel April Green x
I like the Coconut Candy mini tote.
I love the coconut candy mini tote bag x
TREACLE TOFFEE - LARGE TOTE
the allotment print in peacock blue is fab - for any bag!
Almond Hardbake - Sling Bag
Spotted dick handbag, my wife would love it.
that baloon is awesome.
Green
arrow jacket
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