Tigerlilly Quinn: On choosing positivity

Friday, 7 August 2015

On choosing positivity


Often when I'm walking home from the nursery run I have these internal conversations with myself in the form of mental blog posts. I stop at my local cafe and pick up a coffee (decaf or non decaf depending on if I've had my one caffeinated drink of the day yet #pregnancy) and whilst I'm drinking it slowly on the walk home I think about all the things that are swimming around my head and put into words. Usually by the time I've got home I get distracted by something and I never really get the time to sit down and write them out. Today though I thought I might just try and do it.

I've thought a lot on positive mental attitude and how it helps me in my day to day life. The things I choose to share here on this blog or Instagram, the snap shots of our day, the moments that bring me joy are all attempts to portray how lucky I feel to be living the life I do. They are glimpses of our lives that I am freezing so that we never forgot them. I choose for my life and my blog to be as positive as it can be and it's a conscious choice just as it is a conscious choice whenever I wake up each morning to choose to start the day with that attitude.

I probably should mention now that this post definitely isn't about beating depression, its more about the reasons why I choose to consider each and every normal day as a reason to be positive. Growing up I went through a very long period of depression, probably up until I was around 21 years old and this was mainly dealt with via various forms of medication. I know exactly how hard everything can feel when you are in this state of mind I'm not saying that mental illness is something that can be solved by just telling yourself to be happy. This is more about the everyday and why how a positive attitude has helped me in my day-to-day life. 

I am not religious, I have no deep beliefs other than the belief that you should treat people as you would want to be treated yourself and I was raised to consider kindness the most important trait you could have. My only real belief is that my mental attitude can completely dictate the type of day and life I choose for myself and my family. I used to be the sort of person that would let one negative event change the way I felt about the rest of the day, even if I had been having a brilliant day up until that point. By teaching myself to let that one thing go and putting it into perspective in comparison with the rest of my day/life it has helped me become a happier person.


I've been thinking a lot of what I used to find so difficult in my life growing up and amongst other things I think it was the pressure I felt under to not fail. I would say school probably played a large part in making me believe if I didn't measure up to this/pass that I would fail and therefore fail in life in general. I know this isn't the experience for everyone (to be fair I went to a pretty awful secondary school) but as soon as I realised there wasn't a set path in life I began to realise I could choose what I believed to be my own successes as dictated by me.


Often blogs that choose to show the positive sides of life are accused of not being 'real' enough. I totally understand where that assumption comes from, no one has the perfect life, sometimes work, life, motherhood is hard. However I don't think that choosing to celebrate positivity means you are denying those things happen. I find personally that blogs I am drawn to choose to celebrate the little things in life that are often the most special and we are lucky in that there is space in this big world wide web for all sorts of types of blogging. I love my friend Katie's blog for this very reason and I often find reading her posts inspires me to go about my day noticing and taking in those little things too. My friend Emma also leaves me feeling positive but for different reasons, her writing makes me believe I can be a change in the world and that people are good and can do good. I also love Adele's for gentle parenting musings and making me think about everyday parenting choices and Jess's for celebrating the everyday in a way that makes me feel like you're chatting with a friend (well she is my friend but you know what I mean ;))


I hope that people reading my blog come away with the similar feelings and my very favourite comments and emails are ones from people saying that something I have shared or written has touched or encouraged them. I don't take those comments lightly either, I almost always cry when someone writes me something so nice so thank you! 

It's so easy to compare yourself with others and for that to make you feel like you don't measure up or aren't good enough. Whenever I feel that way I stop and think of all the things I have to be thankful about, my family, my friends, my health, and once I have done that I wonder why on earth I was bothered about it in the first place. I want my children to know that they are good enough, that they never have to do anything to earn my love. I want them to know how proud I am to be their mother and that they are never a burden or inconvenience to me. Sure I will joke about how sleep deprivation near killed me or that time they had a melt down over wanting to finish the marble run at home time (and having to near drag you out of nursery kicking and screaming, thanks Wilf!) but I want them to be able to look back and know just how thankful I was everyday to be their mum and to live this life.

What do you think? Can you choose to have a positive day? Can your outlook on life dictate the life you have?

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