Last Saturday was a bit of a write off. Tom and I were both snappy, Wilf was being a little unreasonable and for some reason we were unable to keep our cool when it came to any kind of 'naughty behaviour'. Lunch time took two hours and involved tears and threats and I basically felt like a crap mum, we cancelled the treat we'd had planned for the afternoon as a consequence, although in hindsight it was a bit of a over reaction. 

We managed to turn it around by the end of the day with a evening walk and drink at our local pub to blow away the cobwebs and I vowed for Sunday to hold more patience (it did).

At 39 weeks I feel like I'm on the verge of such a big change but not knowing when it's going to happen is driving me a little mad! I feel tired and massive and so ready to have this baby now, I feel guilty that I can't hug my 'almost four year old' as I used to because of how large my tummy is. I feel guilty that I'm not focussing on this baby as much as I did with Wilf in these last days.

 Tomorrow I turn 30 and there are no signs of this baby coming any time soon. Wilf enjoyed a sleep over at his cousins last night to give Tom and I a little break and I did wonder if his absence might start things off (it's hard to be super chilled around when you are focussing on mama duties). It's silly but I had so wanted this little girl to arrive whilst I was still in my twenties but I'm making a vow now to stop thinking about 'when' and just try to enjoy these last days with Wilf and I as much as I can.

Wilf's birthday is actually a week after I'm due so I will have either had had a baby or be overdue and because of that we've decided to do something special for him today instead so we can really focus on him. We'll still have his cake and presents on the actual day but as soon as he's dropped back home from his aunties house we're off for ice-cream with his buddies and then spending the afternoon putting up the tree.

Next week I have a massage and acupuncture booked in just to give myself something to do more than anything! We'll see if that starts anything but in my heart I know I just have to have patience. Babies come when they are ready and there's not much I can do about that.

Any tips for keeping sane during these last days of pregnancy? Any tips for what brought on your labour? I'd love to hear them!

p.s incase you were wondering Wilf's coat and trousers in the bottom two pictures are from here (and on sale) and his coat in the top pic was from Yellow Lolly but is no longer in stock (sorry!). 

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