My wonderful little children
Since Mabli was born my little Wilf has felt so grown up. Suddenly his features seemed magnified, but still so baby faced.
I had a little cry at the end of the day the other week because I felt like maybe I wasn't loving both my children enough. The simplicity of having one child and them being the most important thing in your life, and then dividing that love between two is shock. The thought of Wilf feeling anything less than loved completely, brought a lump to my throat. He is such a beautiful little boy, so thoughtful and patient with me when I get it wrong.
This mothering thing is a constant learning experience, sometimes I feel like I'm doing it pretty well and sometimes I don't.
I keep looking out for signs of Wilf feeling left out or replaced (as I felt when I became a big sister) but he absolutely adores his new role. Even when I prompt him to talk through his emotions when he's frustrated it never occurs to him that the baby could be to blame. In fact he's told us on occasion he doesn't love us, the only one he loves is his baby. That and asking when they can share a room!
My little Mabli is quickly becoming her own little person already. She is a very calm baby, a lot more chilled than Wilf was a the same age. Then again we are more chilled too and I don't doubt that plays a huge part in it. Her birth was 'fast and furious' in comparison with Wilf's which felt slow and patient but our early days have been simpler and less fraught.
With Wilf in childcare two days a week I fully embrace them for spending quality time with my little one, I can't help but kiss those chubby cheeks over and over and exclaim how loved she is. A silly part of me is glad I can continue to call Wilf my 'best boy' and now Mabli my 'best girl' (something I suddenly realised I might need to change when I was pregnant & didn't know we were expecting a girl this time).
It's such a privilege to have these little people in my life, despite the tiredness and the fact the house has probably not been tidy since 20101, I wouldn't have it any other way. I know when I am old and the children are teenagers (or left home!) I will look back on these days as the best in my life. It's another reason I am so glad to have this blog to document them!