Feeling loved and heartbroken

I thought long and hard about whether to post this on here or not.

In a couple of weeks I was hoping to publish a completely different kind of post, I even had it all written up, along with the letters I had written every week. I don't really know what to do with those letters now..

I realised something was wrong about a week ago, my mum and I went to have a check up but the scan showed there was nothing wrong, a strong healthy heart beat and a cute little picture to take away with me and show Tom.

I guess i feel a little angry about that now,a week later and the same little room confirms I have lost my baby.
I am going to let myself cry for as long and as much as I feel I need to. It is very much a part of me now and although I know it is a fairly common occurrence it doesn't make it any easier.

One thing I have realised however is how much I am loved. I don't know what I would do without my family and friends and even though Tom's heart is breaking too he has done nothing but look after me and try and make it easier.

I decided to post this here as l found it really helped when I read other peoples stories on the Internet. Its maybe not right but hearing other people going through the same pain does actually make you feel less alone.Less to blame.

Though such a short part this is now part of my story and I am going to take a bit of a break to let it soak in and to grieve. xoxo


Avril said...

I'm so sorry for your loss, I don't know you but I was so upset to read your post. I know its so hard for you now and nothing anyone will say will make it any better but time is a great healer.

I know someone close to me who lost babies and she was heartbreaken for a long time but she went on to have two kids and not a day goes by tho that she doesnt think of the babies she lost, she is always wondering. But it has made her such a strong person now although these things don't make any sense.

My thoughts and prayers are with you, xx

Tina Williams said...

I don't remember how I stumbled upon your blog but I pop in occasionally and am always lifted by your joy for life and pretty things. I am so sorry that you are going through such a painful experience. Life chucks these crap things at us and I just know that you will get through this, wiser and stronger. Lots of love xxx

Unknown said...

I'm so sorry Fritha. That's very sad news indeed. I hope you manage to keep strong and keep hope.
Am glad you have such caring and lovely people around you at this time. Friends and family are such good medicine x

AHP said...

Dear Fritha. I'm so sorry for your and your partner's loss. My husband and I went through the same thing a couple of years ago, and it's the most horrible thing I've ever had to endure. It gets easier to cope with, but it is painful and horrible and I am so sad for you. If you ever need to chat, you know where I am. I hope 2011 is full of hope and joy for you, Ax

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