Life Lately - When you're not always the mum you want to be

I saw an illustration shared on FB the other day that said 'you're making it hard for me to be the parent I want to be' which both my made me laugh and cry. The first week of the holidays were HARD. I think I'd built up this time in my head so much as being the answer, the answer to the juggle of the school run, toddler activities, Wilf being exhausted by four O Clock us never seeming to have quality time together.

So on day one when both my children had already cried by 8am and it felt like lunch time I wondered what on earth I was thinking. We needed to slip into new routines, the kids have never spent a huge amount of time together at ages when Mabli wasn't an immobile baby and I think we all needed to work out our new dynamics.

I can honestly count on one hand the amount of times I've lost my temper before I had two kids. It helped that I can also count on one hand the times Wilf ever lost his temper too. We were both just quite chilled and despite there being hard days for other reasons I always felt like I was kind of being the mum I wanted to be. Lately that has definitely not been the case and I've found myself turning into a total monster, yelling and saying things I don't mean, throwing around empty threats to try and cling onto some control. Not enjoying being a mum and not being the mum I want to be.

I always think that when I yell it means I've lost control, I know it and my kids know it and really it doesn't help anything. It's so hard sometimes though, especially when you've asked your five year old to put his shoes on twenty times just as nicely as can be and the only way he responds is to you yelling that if he doesn't do it in three seconds we're not leaving the house all day (again total empty threat!).

This post doesn't have much of a moral, there's been no magic solution I've come across but we've settled into our new routines much better by week two (now three as I write this). I think Wilf has been feeling jealous of his sister which is of course totally normal. I want to make an effort to do some 'me and him' activities which will be easier now Tom is off and so important I think. Likewise I think it would be great for Tom to get to do that wth Mabli now she is old enough to not need to breastfeed all the time.

I'd love to know if there has been anything that has worked for you in terms of calming siblings squabbles or not resorting to shouting when your kids have selective hearing!

I'm also daily vlogging over on my YouTube channel if you fancy a watch there xx 

No comments:

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Copyright @ Tigerlilly Quinn. Blog Design by KotrynaBassDesign.