Let’s have a real heart-to-heart about homebirths. If you’re a parent-to-be considering where to welcome your little one into the world, home birth might just be whispering your name. I remember when I first decided to have my baby at home, so many thoughts swirled in my head. “Is it safe?” “Will I feel more comfortable?” “What about the mess?” But let’s take a moment – a proper one, with a steaming mug of tea and biscuits – to really talk it all through.
Home birth the perfect place to give birth?
I should start by saying that the perfect place for you to have your baby is where you feel the most comfortable. For some that might be a hospital, for some a birth center, and for some at home. Personally, I don’t feel particularly relaxed in a medical environment and much prefer the comfort of my own home so I knew that would be my preferred option.
There is often a lot of talk about if homebirths are a ‘safe’ option and I get where people get this worry or misconception from. The media and programs like OBEM sensationalise birth and it’s often treated like a very risky medical situation when in reality medical interventions should be the exception and not the norm. Clearly, some pregnancies and births are not straightforward forward but for a low-risk pregnancy NICE guidelines recommend the safest place to have your baby is a midwife-led unit and the safest place for second-time births is actually at home.
Susan Bewley, (Professor of Complex Obstetrics at King’s College London who chaired the group responsible for the NICE guidelines) says ‘”Some women may prefer to have their baby at home or in a midwife-led unit because they are generally safer – that is their right and they should be supported in that choice. But, if a woman would prefer to have her baby in a hospital because it makes her feel ‘safer’, that is also her right. Giving birth is a highly personal experience and there is no ‘one size fits all’ model that suits all women.
“What’s important is that women and their families are given the most up-to-date information based on the best available evidence so that they can make an informed decision about where the mother gives birth to her child.”
Let’s talk about the serenity and tranquility of being at home. The saying ‘there’s no place like home’ hits differently when you think about giving birth surrounded by the comforts and familiarity of your own nest. You’re not just another patient in a bed; you’re in your sanctuary, able to move, sway, and soak in whatever you need to make the experience yours.
Home Birth and being in control of my birth
The sense of control I felt during my homebirth was incredible. No hopping in and out of cars with contractions, no sharing space with a rotating door of hospital patients. It was just me, my midwife, and my family in a peaceful bubble. It was empowering to set the pace of my labor – moving from the birthing pool to my bed, changing the lighting, and having music that wasn’t the hospital PA system. All these small luxuries became significant comforts.
That aside my decision to give birth at home to Wilf and now this baby was mainly based on wanting to be in control. In my own home, I can light candles, burn aromatherapy oils, dance around my living room, walk up and down my stairs, lean on my sofa, use my pool, my bath, or my shower and most importantly for me, be tucked up in my bed after giving birth with a cup of tea and mince pie! (I have Christmas babies). I also remember reflecting after Wilf’s birth that I was so ‘in the zone’ during labour that having my labour be interrupted to transfer to a hospital or birth center would have thrown me. I had created some sort of birthing Christmas grotto with cushions and fairy lights whilst listening to Leonard Cohen on my birth ball. To have to leave that to face broad daylight, sit in a car, and talk to other people was a really hard vision to imagine.
I think the main thing with birth choices is to be informed, whatever type of birth you are having be it a c-section or a home birth I think it’s really important to know your rights, even if it’s just little things to make you feel more comfortable. A friend of mine recently had her second planned c-section and told me she had previously no idea she was allowed to ask to have skin-to-skin, only discovering the things she was able to ask for after hearing about ‘gentle c-sections’. Another said that discovering she was allowed to dim the lights in the hospital room helped her feel more relaxed but she wouldn’t have known she was allowed to without finding out beforehand.
It’s interesting preparing for a second home birth, the first time round I did often feel like I was often defending my choices. Not actually to health professionals funny enough but more just the general public, family and friends. I was mostly met with ‘yer you wait and see what it’s like’ or an abundance of horror stories. At 25 I felt like people thought I was young and niave and that my positivity towards birth was something that I would regret or should feel foolish about. This time round I’ve not had anyone question my choices or suggest that my birth experience will be anything other than I how I envision it to be. That’s not to say that it might be different, birth is unpredictable and you can never guarantee how it will go, however I do think it’s important to approach it with a positive mental attitude and to remember that this is what our bodies are designed to do and that you will be able to do it!
Homebirth and family life
Speaking of family, homebirth can be a seamless extension of family life. If you have other little ones in tow, integrating them into the experience can be so much gentler at home. They’re close by, in their environment, without the strange setting or sounds of a hospital – it’s a family affair, with little ones meeting their new sibling in the most natural setting.
Connectivity with your midwife is something so beautiful too. They’re not buzzing between patients; you’re their focus, which can mean a more personalized birthing experience. They’re like this comforting guide helping you navigate the intensity of childbirth, whether it’s your first rodeo or you’re a seasoned pro.
And then, there’s the aftermath. The glorious afterbirth period is where you’re not hustled from room to room or sorting discharge papers while trying to bond with your newborn. Instead, you rest where you are most relaxed, in your bed, your smells, your textures, with your fridge just a waddle away. The normality of life continues around you, minus the starkness of hospital walls.
Now, about the mess – because let’s face it, birth is messy. It’s raw and real, but it’s not something you need to fret over. There are these dandy things called birth pools and absorbent pads that keep everything as tidy as possible. Your midwife will be your after-birth fairy godmother, taking care of any clean-up, leaving you to cuddle and coo with your newest love.
Reflecting on my experiences and stories shared by other mamas, it all boils down to this – you weave your own story in the tapestry of childbirth at home. A space entirely yours that you’ve tenderly crafted becomes the backdrop of the most transformative event of your life. It’s this vivid, earthy, heartfelt way of meeting your baby that some describe as unmatched.
Of course, we always must consider the ‘what ifs’. Homebirth, like any birth, comes with risks, and it’s crucial to weigh these and make the choice that’s right for you and your baby. But it’s part of being parents, isn’t it? Deliberating, discussing, and deciding what we feel is best.
So, to wrap up this epic novel (because yes, it feels like we’ve covered a saga’s worth), having a homebirth can be a lush option. It’s about blanket snuggles instead of brisk hospital corridors. It’s slow introductions to siblings and passing the baby to greet family rather than peering through a hospital nursery window. It’s a space where your birth story unravels at its own pace, with a soundtrack of your choosing and a cuppa never too far out of reach.
Every birth is unique, each with its own ripples and waves. But if you’re yearning for that at-home warmth, if whispering promises and personal touches call out to you, a homebirth could indeed paint a beautiful start to your newest adventure. It’s a personal tale, etched within the walls of a place you’ve laughed, cried, and grown – and now, where you’ll cradle new life
I’ve written about Wilf’s home birth here and also my experience of practicing hypo-birth for a calm and pain-free labour. You can read about my second home birth here.
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