Five things I've learnt about marriage in five years

Next week is our five year wedding anniversary so I thought it would be apt to write a little post on what I've learned about marriage at that time. Saying that this will also be our eleventh year of being together so I guess you could also title this 'what I've learned about being with someone for over a decade'. Both work. I'll stick with five things though so this doesn't drag on.

As a side note, I'd also say I don't have any experience of marriage without already being parents and so I think the jump from a semi single life to a married one would be more of a change than one when you have already decided to commit on being a family (if that makes sense). Having kids definitely tests your relationship at times! 

I think the most important thing I've learn't in the past few years is that there are definitely more ways to express to someone you love them then stating 'I love you'. Personally, I can become a little complacent at times and forget to make the effort. There's all the day-to-day, the kids our jobs etc and honestly days of staring into each other's eyes and saying those three words don't happen so often anymore. Instead, I've learned there are more ways you can take time out to make sure you're showing your appreciation. A simple 'Thank you' for doing the dishes still means a lot, sure they needed to be done and one of the two of us was going to do it but it goes a long way to remind each other you're there. Another word I'm not so good at is saying 'I'm sorry' honestly I'm working on it! Tom likes to remind me of my way of saying sorry is to say 'I'm sorry we argued' ;)

On that note, so many people seem to tell you to never go to bed on an argument. I'd actually like to say the complete opposite tbh. Sure you can go to bed mad at each other but in the morning more often then not I've totally forgotten why I was even cross. See also, don't take score (I am the worst for this).

Having time alone, and actually not alone time with each other. Time to be our own selves and give each other some space. I think this is especially important when you work together because we see A LOT of each other. Having our own time and interests also gives us something to talk to each other about. Sometimes this can be as simple as taking time out to go for a run and sometimes it's something bigger like a night away with a friend. I think this is also so true of being a parent. Absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that, even if it's just for an hour or so on the weekend.

We are not the same people we were when we got married.

Even five years ago I can see I was a different person to who I am now to me in my twenties. First off we've added another child to the mix so those last few years have been mainly spent pretty sleep deprived. I'm also even further from who I was 11 years ago at 22. Sometimes the fact that we still love and want to be with each other all this time later as two very different people than we were in our early twenties still amazes me.

So you grow together. Don't expect them to be the same person as they were because you probably aren't either. You're probably both a bit more tired, a bit rounder around the middle maybe and a bit wiser (debatable) but you realise you love each other for different reasons now too. In fact, I prefer us now than then and I'm excited to see who we are in another 5 years time!

Constantly work at it. I honestly don't believe there is a magic one person for everyone. Call me cynical but I think a lot of it is chance and connection and then some work. Sometimes less work and sometimes a lot more but always making that effort and taking that time. Our marriage is in no way perfect but its perfect for us. It takes work but I think all the best things are worth working for.

Photos by Through the Woods we Ran - We got some couple shots done to mark 5 years

A Complete bedroom makeover with B&Q GoodHome range (AD)

It’s been almost exactly a year since we moved into our new place and we've been really enjoying doing it up little by little. We were really excited to be approached by B&Q and their 'GoodHome' range to completely redo

a room in our home.

One of the spaces we really didn't put high on our list was our own bedroom, focussing more on the spaces we'd all hang out (downstairs). When we first moved in the previous owner had some pretty 'unique' taste in wallpaper (including a large skeleton pattern in the hallway) and specifically a velvet paisley design on the fireplace of our bedroom. I ripped it down and repainted that area but in terms of further work that's kind of where we left it until now.

I knew the first place I wanted to start was ripping up the biscuit colored carpet. Here's a little before photos to give you a better idea.

Another huge area we'd been living with was the wall that we ripped out some inbuilt wardrobe and plastered but it had also been left for a time when we were going to repaint the entire room.

The items from the GoodHome range we chose were:

Fusca White Terzzaro effect wallpaper
Kytoto Matt Emusion paint (for the walls)
North Pole white matt floor & stair paint (for the floor)
Air Purifying brilliant white matt emulsion (for the ceiling)

We also picked up the following from B&Q

Brilliant White satinwood for the skirting
(along with paintbrushes, wallpaper glue and brushes)

Lastly a beltsander for sanding the floors

The first thing to do was to take all our furniture out of the room and rip up the after carpet. I couldn't wait to see the back of it! It was actually only stuck on with glue which was good in terms of not having to take up loads of nails but tricky in that the sides were so thick with glue it was really tricky to sand off.

The sanding was probably the most labour intensive part of this transformation but it was really helpful to have this type of belt sander as it served this purpose perfectly.

We then set about painting the walls and ceiling taking it in turns over the next few days. All our furniture was in the bathroom and kids room whilst we camped in the loft room (currently awaiting a conversion and just a ladder entrance which meant we couldn’t move any furniture up there). I worried originally that the Kyoto pink would too ‘girly’ for a shared bedroom but it already brightened up the space so much I knew that once the floor was white and wall paper was up it would all come together. We actually ended up painting the whole room before wallpapering in case we decided not to go for the wallpaper. I couldn’t believe how cheap it was (£16 a roll) so it’s a great option for taking a gamble on a statement wall.

Luckily once the first strip was up we loved it and I think it adds that extra something to the space. I have always loved a terrazzo design and by having white floors and pink walls we were picking out some of the colours in the print. It also fits so well with our furniture and the colourful clothes on display.

So this is the ‘After’ pics! I absolutely love the end result and the GoodHome range was a dream to work with. Not only brilliant quality items but really affordable prices too. Our bedroom now feels like a really tranquil space and I’m so in love with the floorboards after looking at the worn-out carpet for a year. I think the standout item is probably the wallpaper though especially as it comes in at only £16 a roll.

You can shop the GoodHome range by clicking here

Let me know what you think of it in the comments below!

(in partnership with B&Q and their GoodHome range of products)

What we did in Cornwall - St Ives

The summer went so fast! I feel like that's the conversation I've had with every mum since school started last week. Anyway, I wanted to share some pics of what we did when we were in St Ives for the very last stretch of the summer break.
First off the beach of course. I feel like the kids never really get to spend a huge amount of time at the beach even when we go away. Tom's mum lives by the seaside but we generally don't spend whole days there so being able to say we have no plans other than splashing around and building sandcastles was such a treat. That being said it STILL wasn't enough time for the kids, I think they would have slept on the sand if they could have!

St Ives was super (super!) busy, we've never actually been somewhere with so many crowds before actually so we were really thankful to be able to stay somewhere where a walk to the beach was so close. A lot of these pictures were from the beach by the harbour but I think our favorites beaches there were Porthmeor and Porthgwidden.

The two cafes at Porthmeor beach were so so good! (we did eat chips from the other beach which were also good) We had some pretty disappointing chips on the harbour on our first night though!

On our second full day, it was tipping it down so we headed out to The Tate Modern there and stopped for coffee at Yallah (and donuts too!). They had some great kids activities there which always makes it a bit easier and we managed to kill most of the morning there before heading back. On the way there was a huge downpour and we ran into the Rum and Crabshack just as they were opening. It was surprisingly great for veggies and vegans and I had the 'tofu fish' (not quite as good as the one from The Vegan Pyramid but still really great). 

The Island (which is a hill with great views) was a really lovely walk with two littles and we ended up there a couple of evenings past bedtime, flying kites or just having a runaround.

The Island (which is a hill with great views) was a really lovely walk with two littles and we ended up there a couple of evenings past bedtime, flying kites or just having a run-around. Another place I'd defo recommend is the Barbara Hepworth museum and gardens. You can get a joint ticket if you visit St Ives as well so its a bit cheaper. The kids raced through the museum so I can't really let you know what that is like haha but the gardens were beautiful! 

Lastly, a follower on Instagram told me to check out Mount Zion coffee (which was just around the corner from where we staying ideally) and it didn't disappoint. It isn't open super early in the morning but once it is open its such a nice quiet spot away from the crowds.

Plus they use good oat milk ;)

Hope that any of those recommendations are useful for anyone visiting. We'd definitely go back (although maybe not peak summer holidays time haha). Such a gorgeous part of the world.

our accomodation although not mentioned here was gifted in return for an IG collab you can see the place we stayed here)